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October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

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Here we are in October. A time of cooler temperatures, hay rides, pumpkins and pumpkin flavored everything, corn maizes and fall hues of brown, yellow and red.

Despite the bold colors of fall, seems like we are in a sea of pink this month.  While everyone knows about that pink ribbon cause,  I wanted to point out its also a month for Pink and Blue Ribbons.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

I lost my first born, Caleb to complications with severe prematurity.   In my desire to become a mom, I also suffered through 2 miscarriages. No matter the loss, the symptoms of grief are often similar for moms who lost their children and is an incredibly sad experience.

My son Caleb holding his daddy’s hand shortly after birth.

In 1988, President Ronald Reagan signed proclamation 5890 to declare October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  You can read the official proclamation at end of post.

“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, their isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.” 

What does this mean? You might see some events in your community for grieving parents to honor and love their babies: balloon releases, butterfly releases, walks, candlelightings.  I was lucky to have amazing support groups especially our local support group, Share Atlanta. 

Photo from SHARE Atlanta. 

This is a picture of our “dark” corner bright with HOPE from a past candlelighting.
The poem that we begin our Candlelighting Ceremony with each year:
I strike a match and your memory burns the edges of my mind.
I melt.
Tears roll down my face, slowly, then streaming.
As the ache of my grief cools, I harden myself to the outside world:
still delicate around the edges at first,
but eventually stronger for this moment I have spent with you.
Jennifer Greer in memory of Jesse, Jamie, and Jacob – miscarried ’93 and ’98.
SHARE Atlanta

Along with the Candlelighting Share Atlanta has an amazing memorial service each October at the Arlington Cemetery Angel Garden.  Parents who suffer the earliest loss can purchase a brick in the garden, its really an amazingly peaceful place; you can just FEEL the love. 

If you see someone this month with a pink and blue ribbon, acknowledge their loss. There is an awesome poem in this post remembering Caleb about how to act around and support a grieving parent.

For some more information on Pregnancy and Infant loss check out SHARE Atlanta and Remembering Our Babies October 15th.

 

Proclamation 5890 — Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988
October 25, 1988
By the President of the United States of America
A Proclamation
Each year, approximately a million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988, offers us the opportunity to increase our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members and work to prevent causes of these problems.
Health care professionals recognize that trends of recent years, such as smaller family size and the postponement of childbearing, adds another dimension of poignance to the grief of parents who have lost infants. More than 700 local, national, and international support groups are supplying programs and strategies designed to help parents cope with their loss. Parents who have suffered their own losses, health care professionals, and specially trained hospital staff members are helping newly bereaved parents deal constructively with loss.
Compassionate Americans are also assisting women who suffer bereavement, guilt, and emotional and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome. We can and must do a much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion; of helping the single parents who wish to raise their babies; and of offering friendship and temporal support to the courageous women and girls who give their children the gifts of life and loving adoptive parents. We can be truly grateful for the devotion and concern provided by all of these citizens, and we should offer them our cooperation and support as well.
The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October 1988 as “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month” and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.
Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.
In Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-fifth day of October, in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirteenth.

Ronald Reagan 

Julie @RunWalkRepeat
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About Julie @RunWalkRepeat

Wife, Mom, Southerner, Former Cubicle Dweller, Sting Fanatic and Reluctant Runner. I got started on family a little later in life than most and run for my health. A fan of Food, Entertainment, Travel, Galloway Running and Disney, I like to find the fun in all things in life.

Comments

  1. Tanya Cobb says

    Thanks for this and for everything you did to help me through after I loss Kayden. Your calls and emails truly were a blessing to me.

    • Julie Franklin says

      Oh Tanya, I only wish we hadn’t gotten to know eachother this way, but the support from other moms is just amazing. So glad to pass along my shoulders and ears to you. Our sweet babies will forever be in our hearts.

    • Julie Franklin says

      Thanks Bonnie, so many women go through this….prematurity is the #1 cause of infant death under 1. From my experience because its just so sad and heartwrenching, I am trying to help educate friends and loved ones about what helps.

  3. Tania says

    Big hugs to you and to all of our friends who have lost sweet children! I admire all of you!

    • Julie Franklin says

      Thanks Tania, so many people don’t talk about it, yet when it happens to you..you hear of so many others who have been there. Its a club I wish NO one else enters….

  4. Kristen :) says

    Remembering Caleb and all our sweet angel babies this month 🙂 Hugs to you Julie!!!

  6. Longhorns2 says

    Big hugs Julie. This month is the one we lost Jacob in as well so I know how hard it can be. Many prayers for healing and peace sweet friend!